modern problems #5

the pub condom machine man

walked his final round

with a distinct melancholy—

tapping firmly, one last time,

on the sides to see if the change box jingled

and lamenting the dwindling

prevalence of an odd loose pound

in the pockets of the hopeful

among the weekend crowd.

he finished up in the sterile light

of the tesco toiletry isle—

scoffing at the low multipack prices

and the lack of spring-loaded

levers in the whole affair.

he decided, finally,

that he much preferred

the colours on his machines:

the defiance in the muted tones

of the faded durex labels

and the twinkle of LEDs.

Modern problem, #1

A guy drifted to the front of the crowd

Of people wondering what to do

While looking at Da Vinci’s “Mona Lisa”

And made a huge gash in its poplar panel.

In the days following everyone was distraught;

Recent viewers spoke to news anchors

About a knowing melancholy noticed in her eyes.

The Louvre had thousands of visitors

Dressed up as fair Lisa herself, with tears

Rolling over their half-cocked smiles.

Scholars forwent analysis, gesturing only

To the unexplainable enchantment

Felt in the presence of a masterpiece.

Then a man in a suit walked into a grey room,

Beaming at cameras, and told us not to worry.

For our victim was a faultless facsimile,

3D printed decades ago in a lab–

The original locked away for preservation.

They wheeled it out to a frenzied applause–

Until a hollowness descended on the room.