A shout out to the dreamers,
—Baked beaners.
Street sweepers, full-beamers.
Butchers, bakers and candlestick cleaners.
From the corporate marketing Zoom callers,
To a vaguely defined group of consumers.
We’ll take your cash but ease the pain,
With dramatic cadence and cliché.
Speed it up—
…slow it down.
Make it all feel more profound.
And ground your words in humble roots,
With clear-skied shots of Northern towns.
Appeals to phoney wartime spirit,
Mixed with local dialect—
“Make us a cuppa and a proper brew”—
And general fear of the internet.
Covid, back to work,
A bit about too many phones,
Every day heroes, sepia tone shots of
Yer da skipping stones.
Syntax, swapped to force a rhyme.
Break of scheme to hammer home poignant messaging.
So get out, switch it up, change the world!
With your friendly, local [insert here].
Give us your fucking money.
Or we’ll endear you even more.
Uncultured Review 